The State Of Music

Music, whether you like it or not, is ALL about corporate commercialization, and slimy guys in suits and ties who want to sell a streamlined product to make a quick buck

Music is about dinosaurs who roam the earth, and ask you to to shell out 200 bucks every three years or so to go and hear them put a "new" spin on songs that sucked when they first came out 30 years ago.

Music is about the anticipation of the house lights going down, and you and your 20,000 best friends just going absolutely apeshit, for a band you don't even like that much.

Music is about clapping and screaming your freakin' head off for 20 minutes for the slight chance that same band that you don't even like too much might come back out and do a half-assed encore.

Music is about getting waaasted with your buds, and using any excuse to clap and scream.

Music is about celebrating made-up milestones that you technically should not give a shit about (Ex. this is our first tour with all original members in 20 years).

Music is about branding and streamlining a band, a sound, a look, for rampant commercial consumption.

Music is about re-releasing and re-re-releasing (in a remixed/legacy/deluxe edition) the same old tired product, for lack of drive to create anything new to release and to capitalize on the fact that some bands'fans will buy absolutely ANYTHING.

Music is about dudes who partied way too hard back in the day, and should have died, but are still alive and rockin' man. Yeeeaaaahh.

Music is about being there, maaan. Being there at Bonnaroo. There for freakin' Coachella. There for SXSW when you discovered the next Killers. There at Lolla, when Girl Talk covered Gnarls Barkley, who covered the Raconteurs, who covered Pink. Just... there. I don't care if it's a fucking barnyard animal convention where Dwight Yoakum played, I was THERE.

Music is about making a pilgrimmage with your buds, driving 8 hours into the woods to see the same freakin' band you have seen a billion times, and could have seen on Youtube for free. Except this time they have trees behind them. WOW.

Music is about never paying to see a band too many times. Like Dave Matthews, every concert they do something SO much different than the one before. Yeah seriously, they need another 80 bucks from me.

Music is about larger-than-life douchebags who think that because they've sold an assload of records, they're too big to sit down on a toilet and take a crap like everyone else (Hey Bono, um, I think I might be talking about you. And you did not just win another award. You won a big FUCK YOU)

Music is about selling out to pay the bills, no matter what your fans might think (Hey Billy Corgan, this one's for you, little corporate whore who markets himself as "I'm so angry, the world doesn't understand me")

Music is about a huge chorus that even drunken idiots can rally around. Because Drunken idiots will sing along to ANYTHING.

Music is about taking 8 hours out of your day so you can know EVERY word of let's say, Nine Inch Nails for the next time you see them. Why- so Trent Reznor can give you a medal or something? Or so that YOUR voice can be heard over the 3 million other idiots singing along to the same shit? Why bother.

Music is about re-living the 80s, man, because they were such an amazing time and everyone was sooo awesome. I sure wish it were the 80s and everything was coooool.

Music is about artsy, pretentious, all-knowing, nerdy fags who have listened to Joy Division one too many times and think they can make the next "Closer"

Music is about kissing someone's ass for no reason. Usually some dude who has done nothing but sit on their ass for 20 years, while doing nothing but resting on their formerly multi-platinum laurels.

Music is about cooking up half-assed tributes to bands who don't even deserve them.

Music is about shitty little indie labels who won't shut the fuck up about how badly they want you to come to their shitty showcases to see their shitty bands play.

Music is about shitty solo albums, "side projects" and bad "electronic experiments" that force insecure douchebags to come running back to their original bands for a "big reunion tour" claiming once and for all that "we've put the past behind us", "buried the hatchet" or some such bullshit, and forcing all you stupid fucks to buy into it.

Music is about "recreating the magic" of dudes that are dead by hiring boring douchebags to fill in for them.